I did an Instagram poll to ask my followers what they thought would be a good topic to write about and after "multitudes" of suggestions, I decided to write about the awkward stage of life I'm in between college and being a "real adult." I've never really thought about how strange of a time it is until I really started thinking about it and how just plain weird it is.
I graduated from college in May 2017 but I didn't really graduate since still lived and worked at Shorter almost immediately following graduation. At the time, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal since I didn't think it would affect my life all that much. I was right about the fact that it didn't change my life very much but I didn't realize until later that it would turn out to be incredibly unhealthy for my personal transition to becoming an adult. My job should've been a part-time job at best and I was still spending most of my time with students in my office or in my apartment basically living the college life but not going to class. I definitely wasn't prepared for what life would be like when my job and my whole lifestyle was over unexpectedly. Though I learned a lot from my experience with it, I wasn't prepared to be an "adult" who has to do everything for himself. Once I moved back home, I began looking for full-time jobs at different places like insurance companies, car dealerships, office buildings, and lots of other things but I either wasn't qualified or just didn't want to do the jobs because I knew I wouldn't enjoy them. Finally after a month of looking for jobs that I didn't even want, I decided to make an adult decision and make a change that only I could make.
I decided to become a substitute teacher and applied to get my Masters degree so that I could eventually become a History teacher which is what I knew I should've done with my life all along. I was too stubborn and too rebellious against myself to actually do what I knew deep down all along when I was still in school. After lucking out and getting a long-term sub job teaching sixth grade social studies last school year and absolutely loving it, I thought I had finally turned a corner and stopped doubting myself...and then I doubted myself. I applied and interviewed for a few full-time teaching positions over the summer and didn't get any of them which automatically threw me into panic mode because I don't like being rejected for anything. I just assumed that one of them would work out for me and I wouldn't have to struggle with money or anything. I started looking around for other jobs that had nothing to do with teaching because I lost hope way too quickly. I finally just had to get it all out and re-evaluate everything until I realized one of the most valuable lessons of beginning adulthood. NOT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO.
Finding and actually working aren't the only things that have made this stage of life difficult but also finding out where I fit in socially. College is all about making connections and building friendships. I knew that I could always find someone to call to go to Applebee's for half-price apps or watch a movie with at any time of the day or night. I learned real fast that those kind of things don't happen for an "adult." Not only was I not within walking distance of all my closest friends, but I just didn't want to do anything besides work, eat, and sleep. I went from having to force myself to take a break from people long enough to do homework or sleep to now forcing myself to go out and be sociable so I don't become a hermit. (Which doesn't sound like a bad lifestyle in all honesty)
The year that i've spent in between college and "adulting" has been the hardest year i've ever had. I've made so many drastic changes in my life and how I do things and it's been difficult to figure out what I need to keep and what I need to let go of. It's so awkward because I still feel like a kid but I go to work and pay rent. It's really weird to be in a spot where friends that I had in high school and college are all at different places that I am in. I have friends that are married or are getting married, I have friends that are still in college long after they thought they'd be finished with it, I have friends that got their dream jobs straight out of college and I have others that are still looking for their first one. People say that college is when you finally figure out who you are. I'd like to think that this stage of life is the tutorial on how to be this person...except the tutorial is really hard and its different for everyone. I'd love to be done with my Masters and I'd love to have a full time job as a History Teacher but again, growing up is hard and like I said before, not everything works out the way you want it to. I've heard people say that "getting old ain't for wimps" and by golly they're right.
On a much less serious note, I'd like to actually do something with this that isn't such a serious soul-searching sob story but the last time I said that, I didn't say anything until six months later. I'll figure something out. To those of you out there, thanks for reading. Everyone that knows me knows I love attention and this is no different.
